Not one, not two, but THREE spider sightings tonight!

I may have to move.

Fair enough, the first one was on my balcony, which I’m not pleased about but at least he’s outside. The other two?

IN THE SHOWER!

Let me just say that if I am naked and wet, I feel NO guilt about killing rather than escorting. The first one was small and I managed to smash him with the shampoo bottle. The second, though, made his appearance as I was drying off.

I don’t actually remember getting out of the shower, but somehow it happened. I got the trusty spider-killing shoe and laid in wait for him, but he was damned fast. DAMNED fast. I’ve had to leave him, which (and Phill agrees with me) means that I can never use that room again. For now, I will leave the mashed corpse up on the wall in an attempt to give the other spider the opportunity to exit through whichever means he entered.

I will leave you with Phill Jupitus’ very accurate description of arachnophobia, although, I have to say that, before the movement in the peripheral vision, I get a feeling that I’m being watched (and, of course, I kill rather than escort - I tried it once but the spider managed to get a web started while he was being transported, so when I flung him away, he just sort of swung out in a gentle arc over the edge of the balcony and then back towards me - much screeching ensued).

It is hot today. I had to turn the air conditioner on again. Boo! But it was in the 90s and it seemed even more foolish to not use it since I have it. As you can see, it blows right across the head of my bed (and is thunderously loud), so I can’t have it on at night. Arthur and Josephine enjoy lounging directly in front of it while they can, though.

Luckily, it’s still dipping down to the high 60s at night. Good sleeping weather!

After about a month of pure laziness - shame on you! - the meyer lemon plant is finally doing something… It is starting to flower!

I don’t know why I find the avocado plant so ominous, but I do:

I feel it’s not so much as doing something as…plotting. Know who else is plotting?

The pumpkin plant is making a bid to wrest control of the balcony from the eggplant, who is distracted at the moment, being rather busy making…eggplants!

Off in its own corner, the tomato is blissfully thriving:

As I was getting ready to have my dinner, I went out to water my garden and discovered that my ear of corn was finally ready to be picked!

Very exciting, no? But once I picked it, I realised ‘Well. Now I’m going to have to eat it.’

It didn’t really complement my leftover Thai food, but it was still yummy, slathered with butter and showered with salt.

I can feel my arteries clogging as I type, but it was worth it.

…how to make a cake with all the right ingredients.

Remember the bizarro cake? Well, I looked in my kitchen the other day and thought ‘Cream, cake flour, corn syrup, candy thermometer…wait a minute, I can make bizarro cake!’ The only ingredient I didn’t have was buttermilk and, rather than tempt fate, I decided to go out and get some.

This cake is much easier to make when you have all the ingredients. There was only the tiniest reservoir this time, to my great relief, and no weird, curdled caramel. I will admit that I may have slightly burned the caramel, but it still tastes good. The general warning I’ve been giving people is that if you like your marshmallows on fire and then blown out, this cake is for you. If you like your marshmallows with an even, gentle golden brown, this cake is not for you. I think it’s sort of mellowed a bit in the fridge (and with a few days of age), but the warning still stands.

But, yes. Yummy. One of the girls at work declared it her favorite of all the things I’ve brought so far.

ETA: Oh, I forgot. Bizarro cake is not its proper name. It is caramel cake courtesy of Smitten Kitchen.

Mr. Fooster Traveling on a Whim by Tom Corwin (writer) and Craig Frazier (illustrator)

I can’t quite decide what I thought of this book. It takes about five minutes to read, so you could just do it at the library or the local bookshop, but, at least for me, I think it’s going to take a deal of pondering before I can make up my mind about it. I want to like it. It’s lyrical and quirky and has charming, slightly surreal, cross-hatched, sepia illustrations.

But what I can’t decide is if I think it’s trying too hard to be lyrical and quirky and so on. Its charms don’t feel effortless or honest and the whole thing conjures up comparisons with Shaun Tans amazing Arrival and, one of my all-time favorites, Chris Van Allsburg’s The Mysteries of Harris Burdick. And, unfortunately, when compared with those two, it falls a bit short.

I guess what I’m saying is, have a quick look through Mr. Fooster at the library or bookshop, but then head to the children’s section and take home the other two.

My rating:

Art: A-

Story: B-

Stop in the Name of Pants by Louise Rennison

Oh, Georgia, you are vair amusant! In her ninth (ninth!) outing, she and the ace gang are up to their old tricks (i.e., boy drama, Stiff Dylans gigs, persecution at Stalag 14, boy drama, the Loon family, Viking dances, boy drama…well, you get the picture). There was a moment of sadnosity, but it soon passed as these are funny pants books and once again all was well. All I have to say, really, is Georgia, you are full of fabulosity, but if a boy makes you laugh and says ‘Bugger, it has to be done’ before he snogs you, you CHOOSE HIM, no matter how gorgey the Luuuurve God may be.

My rating: A-

Well. I…don’t really know what to think. For some reason, I think it was a bit of a letdown. And more sad in so many ways than what I was expecting. Mainly what I keep thinking was ‘Well, that was unsatisfying…’

And not even a hint of the Christmas special (I assume there’ll be one…)!

So. Yesterday was not a great day in the kitchen. I managed to end up with a few edible things, but the amount of time, ingredients, and frustration that went into them were verging on the overwhelming.

This is batch two of the dulce de leche macarons (recipe from Tartelette):

I know, I know, when photographing macarons, you’re supposed to go for the artful stack of them, but if I’d done that, then you would have seen how they’re not all the same size. Also, I made them too big, I think - they’re almost too sweet for words. Basically, it’s just a convenient way to eat dulce de leche without getting too sticky. Which is not a bad thing, but I can really only manage one a day and I have to chase that with a large glass of milk. (Also, I think I overcooked my dulce de leche so it’s a bit stiffer than I was hoping for. Still, not a bad thing, just a note.) I also forgot to make the praline crumbs that Tartelette adds in her version. I’ll definitely attempt macarons again, as there were several extenuating circumstances that may have contributed to their less-than-perfect state (it was very hot and humid and I forgot to let the egg whites sit out for a couple of days beforehand). As you’ll see, it was just that kind of day.

Then came the orange cake.

Oh, the orange cake. I made not one, but two of these before switching recipes and getting an edible version. By the time I made this one, though, I was running out of ingredients (and the recipe is from one of those inexplicably UK-written bargain books that are pretty much ubiquitous at Borders and called for things that I didn’t have on hand), so there is almost one substitution too many. Not quite, but it’s close.

For the self-rising flour, I used a combination of all-purpose flour, baking powder, and salt (next time I’d try using cake flour, I think, to try and improve the cake’s texture). For the custard powder, cornstarch. I no longer had enough oranges for the cup of orange juice, so I used 1/3 cup orange juice and 2/3 cup milk. I think that was it.

Oh, no, I forgot - for the 9-inch baking pan, I used an 8-inch (not purposefully, although I don’t think I have a 9-inch one, so I would have had to do something, at any rate) which added some baking time and, I think, contributed to the cake being on the dry side. It’s not horrible, but I was expecting a very moist cake and this was close but not quite. It did actually improve after spending the night in the fridge and it’s definitely a recipe I’ll try again (with more of the correct ingredients, hopefully), but it was a bit of a disappointment.

Apparently.

Right now, in my trash can are one batch of macarons and not one, but TWO failed orange cakes. Argh! I have only ingredients and time enough to make one more cake (no, I’m not wasting time by typing this, I’m waiting for the butter to come to room temperature) before I’m meant to be at my friend’s house, tasty treats in hand.

Fucking hell.

ETA: Uh, note to self: If a recipe calls for a 9-inch round cake pan, DO NOT use an 8-inch round cake pan. NOT COOL.