Holy fucking hell!

<freak-out> 

DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE SPIDERS IN ILLINOIS? Wait. That’s not right. Of course there are spiders in Illinois…DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE TARANTULAS IN ILLINOIS! Uh, not that I have seen one, mind you, because if I had I would NOT be in Illinois anymore. But I thought they were practically a mythical creature that sort of, kind of lived in Arizona, under a bush somewhere. But apparently, they live in Illinois! Southern Illinois, to be precise, but STILL. I don’t know how southern, southern is, so I feel I am justified in being concerned.

Also. I thought brown recluses lived in sheds where people stored big stacks of wood along with black widow spiders, but no. BROWN RECLUSES LIVE IN HOUSES?! BEHIND FURNITURE?! I wish there was a way to make the font bigger for this next sentence because also? THEY HIDE IN CLOTHING AND TOWELS AND BITE WHEN DISTURBED!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH. MY. GOD.

How did I not know this? Actually, I kind of wish I still didn’t because I know, logically, that the chances of either a tarantula or a brown recluse actually living here is fairly small, but that is not going to stop my brain from shouting ‘Brown recluse at ten o’clock!’ or ‘What’s that tickling? Well, it’s either a stray hair OR A TARANTULA!’

</freak-out>

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One thought on “Holy fucking hell!

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Shame I’m not laughing at you but more the situation… you know the chance of you ever crossing paths wih one of those things is like slim to none right… Like I have a better chance of actually, I don’t know winning a nobel peace prize… for maths… ;P

    Just if you feel something furry and it’s not purring don’t stroke it:D

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