My five year plan…

…in nine (or ten) easy steps.

Plan A:

  1. Win the Amazing Race with my mom. Split the $1,000,000 60-40 (her idea as I would be participating slightly against my will…).
  2. Get a boob job (nothing drastic, just a bit of a pick-me-up [pun…intended?]).
  3. Buy a lovely little flat in London.
  4. Find a lovely British man to marry me so I can get a visa and live in said lovely little flat in London.
  5. Hilarity ensues.
  6. Joke’s on us as we end up falling in love for real.
  7. I land a $1,000,000 3-book contract with Arthur Levine.
  8. What the hell, bring about world peace and stop global warming.
  9. The entire world lives happily ever after.

I think that sounds doable, how about you? Of course, it all hinges on not only being picked to go on the Amazing Race, but winning it.

Or does it…

Plan B:

  1. Get on the Amazing Race, but get eliminated after a few weeks.
  2. Get asked on Oprah because of my incredible charm and charisma.
  3. She pays for my boob job (and for the audience, too ‘Everybody’s getting boooooooob jooooooobs!’ And then her helpers come out with trays of implants for everyone and we bring tears to the eyes of the nation.)
  4. She has David Tennant marry me so I can get a visa and we just live at his place. I think that’s a good compromise here.
  5. Hilarity ensues.
  6. Why did David Tennant cross the road? So we could fall in love for reals.
  7. Cue $1,000,000 3-book deal with Arthur Levine.
  8. Blah, blah, blah, bring about world peace and end global warming.
  9. I go back on Oprah for a ‘What’s happened since we saw her last?’ episode. Once again, we bring tears to the eyes of the nation.
  10. The entire world lives happily ever after.

So there’s one more step to that one. I think I can handle it.

There. I feel better already now that I have a plan.

😉

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