Is there an internet acronym for a disgusted, shuddering type of noise? If so, please insert that here.
I went to drop off my car for its 60,000 mile check up (which turned out to be MUCH more expensive than I was expecting) and as I was approaching the service garage, I glanced down only to see a GIANT SPIDER climbing up my leg towards me. Now, I know I often exaggerate the sizes of spiders that I see (because that is honestly how they look to me), but I swear to god that this one was easily the size of a quarter. And it was brown (I seriously hope it wasn’t a brown recluse!)!
Here’s what happens when I see a spider when I’m driving:
Anne: Okay, glancing at the speedometer, aware of my surroundings, the light’s changing ahead, I’ll have to brake soon, glancing at the speedomet–
Spider: Hello, there, young lady, I was wondering if you could be so kind as to drop me off–
Anne: HOLY FUCKING HELL, HUGE SPIDER! GET IT OFF ME! WHERE DID IT GO?! MUST KILL IT OR IT’LL COME BACK! WHERE IS IT? WHAT CAN I HIT IT WITH IF IT COMES BACK?! IS IT STILL ON ME?!
In other words, I completely and utterly forget that I am at the wheel of several tons (well, at any rate a quite big) piece of metal that is basically hurtling blindly down a street at 45 mph. It’s not really ideal driving conditions, but there’s nothing I can do – the entirety of my brain is concerned with the spider. There may be a tiny voice saying ‘Um, what should we be doing about the whole driving situation?’ but it is entirely drowned out by the portion of my brain concerned with the spider.
Part of the servicing my car got this morning was to be hoovered, (uh, on re-reading, that sounds like I take my car in to the garage to be hoovered – it’s just that everything else added up to so much that they threw in a ‘free’ hoovering and car wash) so I’m hoping, hoping, hoping that they got him and that he’s not either a) still in my car, waiting to ambush me or b) actually in my clothes somewhere at this very moment.