Uh, omg movie…I guess.

Okay. Back from Transformers. Oh dear. My friend from work that I went to see it with said she thought she actually felt dumber. I just felt like I needed to take a shower. Although, I guess technically it was our fault for expecting too much – when the third opening credit is ‘In Association with HASBRO’ you can’t really accuse the movie of false advertising…

Summer movie tally = 4-3

And now for the rant – I’m using the “more” feature as there may be…spoilers…not that this is really the type of movie that you care about spoilers for, but still…

Okay. First of all and, had I known this beforehand, I probably wouldn’t have gone to see the film – apparently Bumblebee, who here appears as a Camaro, is supposed to be a VW Beetle. Why would they change that?! Have I fallen into some bizarro world where VW Beetles are not actually the most awesome car in the world ever? I mean, seriously, how can a Camaro out-character a VW?! Herbie? NOT A CAMARO. Lame.

Also, and the main reason I split this up…Optimus Prime doesn’t die. I thought that was the WHOLE POINT of the film and why the animated film is legendary for making men cry! Plus it makes a much better film if he does. OMG. Lame.

Why do people keep letting Michael Bay make movies? He takes movies that should be so easy to make into entertaining films and completely and utterly RUINS them. I’m not even expecting him to make GOOD films, just ENTERTAINING ones. Steven Spielburg, shame on you for not keeping a closer eye on him.

Shia LaBoeuf (or however you spell his name) – you’re cute. I think you’re probably a really good actor. Don’t just throw away your indie cred like it’s not important. ‘Cuz it is. No one’s going to take you seriously if you star in another movie like this. That’s how bad this one is – it counts as, like, Norbit aaand Gigli aaand pretty much any other movie with Ben Affleck in it. DON’T BECOME THE NEW BEN AFFLECK, SHIA!

All right, I’ll say it, the Transformers, when they were…transforming, were pretty damn cool.

Movie people. Girls do not look like the girl playing Mikaela. Grown women RARELY look like the girl playing Mikaela. Stop doing that. Seriously, yo.

Also, apparently, the Transformers are also pervs. I mean, fair enough, it must get lonely being an Autobot, but still. If my car was alive, I would not make out with my boyfriend on its hood. Nor would I allow all the other sentient automobiles to park around us and watch. Maybe I’m just a prude, but there you go. It seems a little weird. 

One thought on “Uh, omg movie…I guess.

  1. Haha! Agreed about the perving Transformers near the end.

    I’m thinking Spielberg may have had as much of a negative influence on this as Bay. In my opinion, the movie couldn’t decide what it wanted to be, and it seemed really “kiddified” in comparison to the trailer.

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